The Top 5 Places I Whip It Out

5

You ever long for the good ol days? I think once in a while we all do. Children playing unattended in the neighborhood with their friends, no internet to distract you from your housework, high on socially acceptable Valium while drinking martini’s. Ahhh the good life.

I think if I was transported back in time though, I’d quickly become bored. There are so many situations in which I whip out my smartphone to make it more bearable. Now I’m down with no phones at the dinner table or when you’re hanging out with someone and can have an actual conversation without typing it. It’s also nice to just put the phone down and be present with the kids now and then, right? Sometimes I need an escape though and my smartphone comes in handy.

1) Breastfeeding Marathons: Thank the good Holy Banana for Netflix. There’s only so much quiet bonding I can do. If I have to feed someone every 1.5-2 hours I might as well take advantage of sitting down and binge watch Netflix’s latest crack series while doing so.

2) Public Restrooms: These are awkward places. We all have to use them at one time or another but most of us prefer when nobody is in the stall next to us. I like to browse Facebook while in there. It takes your mind off of how weird it is to use the bathroom a foot away from another person doing the same. (I do realize that you’re now going to possibly feel weird when you see me on Facebook because you’re wondering if I’m in the bathroom. I can live with that.)

3) Waiting Rooms: Waiting rooms freak me out. Especially hospital or clinic ones. We’re all there because we need to see the doctor for some ailment or another and I’m wondering if I talk to someone if I’m going to catch their sick on top of whatever sick I have. Plus I have a bit of social anxiety. So I browse things on my phone and make polite eye and a smile now and then. If I have the kids with me then it can be a savior for child-boredom. ABC Mouse ya’ll. It’s educational so minimal mom- guilt.

4) Bathtime: I have perfected the Mom Shower. In/out and wash/rinsed in about 5 minutes or less. My kids however, like to wallow. Usually they have bathtime when its not close enough to bedtime to put them down, but late enough in the day that I’m OVER.IT. So I sit on the floor close enough save anyone from drowning and mindlessly scroll while they act like they’re in a pool on Spring Break and have never seen water before. Its almost like I’m having “me” time.

5) In Bed: When you’re tired after a day of Momming, there’s nothing nicer than finally getting in bed and knowing you don’t have to do anything. Then, you grab the phone because you don’t want to just go to sleep at 8pm like a baby cause you’re an adult now and the evenings are time to do adulty things. So you check social media and chat a bit on Facebook and watch a few Youtube videos and zzzZZZ. Better than Ambien.

So the inevitable question is…
Where do YOU whip it out?!

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5 thoughts on “The Top 5 Places I Whip It Out

  1. ksewell1 says:

    Ok, totally agree with all of these places lol! The clinic, especially. Who wants someone else’s germs all over them? Phones also come in handy when you need to avoid an awkward situation by having something to do. 😉

    Like

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