I am not an authority on anything. I’m a mom but I’m learning that you can’t depend on what worked with the first to work with the second and so on. I wear clothes but I couldn’t tell you what’s “hot right now” on the runways. I’m a blogger but I do not profess to have a full grasp on how all that works nor do I claim to have perfected the written word.
With a grain of salt and an understanding of sarcasm please allow me to fill you in on what *I* feel needs to be”In” and “Out” this season.
Out: Super Brows.
You know what I mean. That whole trend of drawing your brows in with extra wide black permanent marker. I’m not talking shading and elongating. I’m talking wide-enough-to-drive-a-car-or-a-small-pickup-to-your-ears-on kinda brows.
In: Mom Brows.
That “the kid had an ear infection and I had to cancel my waxing…last year” look needs to happen. STAT. You pluck enough stragglies in the sun visor mirror in the car on your way to work to not look like a Muppet and lick your finger and tame the rest down.
Out: Booty Shorts.
I believe in letting people wear whatever they want but for the love of comfort can these please go away?! I would just like to have the choice, at least, of buying normal shorts that I don’t have to pull out of my crotchal region or c section flap.
In: Sweat shorts.
I knowwww. How uncool. Those are for the gym or sleeping in. Well, so were track suits but we all had one with “Juicy” or “Sweet” or something equally degrading written across the ass (that never saw the inside of a gym) about a decade ago. So I say bring on the sweat shorts! It’s 2015 so we’re all evolved a bit more. We can put “Future PhD” and “Proud Mom” and inspirational messages on the ass now.
This is DOG velour tracksuit. If we can reach this level of insanity we can bring back sweat shorts.
Out: Grammar Police
I make grammatical errors. We all make typos. It can be annoying in some situations, sure. When you buy a book and find a spelling mistake it’s a wtf moment since there were probably countless edits and proofreads before it went to print. What I have a problem with is those people who feel the need to police every error, everywhere. When you are *they’re-*there-*their-ing on your friends text messages and Instagram captions you’re embarrassing them and you look like an asshole. Everyone hasn’t had the privilege of a great education. Everyone’s first language is not English. And frankly? Everyone doesn’t care as much as you about a comma in a post about what they had for dinner.
You know a person has nothing left in their arsenal when they start correcting your typo’s during an online argument.
In: Happy Police.
When is the last time you got in touch with someone simply to see how they were? To ask if there was anything you could do for them? Kindness is SO underrated and totally hot this season. Drop cookies off at the firehouse. Carry out an elderly ladies groceries from the supermarket. Call your Mom. It is never, ever not worth it to spread some happiness.
I love trying new foods and making new recipes. I think its great to incorporate more healthy options into our meals. These are the days of “all or nothing” though and people pick one food and run with it. Kale baked/fried/made into smoothies and applied directly to your trouble areas with a dollop of coconut oil and a side of qineoa is the name of the game. There’s so many recipes out there for the aforementioned items that one could exist solely for the rest of time living on nothing but. Don’t get me started on how vinegar is supposed to cure every ailment known to man, Goddess, and Mythical Dragon.
How I know we’ve gone too far. You can purchase this actual, real life, not a joke book 50 Shades of Kale.
In: Making Informed Choices.
Trust me, that article your Great Uncle shared on your wall saying you are killing your kids with baby carrots is wrong. Those posts floating around talking about negative foods are just more fuel for an already body image troubled nation. Its time to take Google back and search before you share! If something seems unlikely, snopes.com it!
There are so many things we’re all guilty of or are tired of. The list goes on and on. What’s your number one “In and Out” of the season?