I Have Nothing To Write About (Except This) (Accept That)

I Have Nothing TO

I’m going through a bit of a dry spell creatively. I feel like I have nothing to give unless you want me to “live” blog some old I Love Lucy episodes, make fun of some pins I find on Pinterest, or tell you how disappointing the “good coffee” that I payed extra for was. (Well not highly disappointing, it IS still coffee after all.)

Sometimes I think we try and force our art, writing or whatever it is you do creatively. Search our heads for something that isn’t there when all we really need is a big sleep, a good laugh, and a clean house (for me, I function better when things are not a mess-probably why I’m not usually up to par hahah).

So today I say don’t be creative. Embrace your block. Go do something that inspires you instead of sitting in front of your medium staring at it like it’s gonna make itself. Mix it up.
I’m sure I’ll have something to write about later but for now I’m off to have some semi-good coffee and ponder how my child is playing a flute at 7:44AM and it hasn’t been broken in half yet.

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There’s A Party On Earth And Everyone’s Invited!

Earth Day 2015

Today is Earth Day 2015, which happens annually to show our support for environmental awareness. I think its also a great day to focus on teaching our children that they can make a difference in the future landscape of the world. Of course we should be leading by example every day, but today is a time to refocus and really commit to change.

I decided to focus on recycling today. I had my 4 year old go around the house and gather up things that may be considered “garbage”. Old coloring pages, an empty milk carton, and other odds and ends. My point was to show her that things that we would usually throw out can still be useful and made into something else. Simple concept for adults, something that has to be learned by children.
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Mom Bonus: This activity also ensures you don’t have to pick up as much later!

Almost anything can be made into a bird feeder. The only requirements are that it has a space for food and can hang from a tree. Paper ones may not last long but they’ll give some lil birdie one good meal, at least.
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After painting and glitter and birdseed she hung it outside!

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As part of the discussion I used this free printable Earth Day Pledge from http://babalisme.blogspot.ca/ which you can find here.

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Share with us what you’ve done for Earth Day 2015 in the comments! (or what you do year round to make a difference) I believe some of the biggest changes come from many small acts. Its never too late to make a difference.

How To Deal With Angry Arse (Yeast Rash) While Cloth Diapering

How To

I’ve been having reoccurring ear and throat issues and have been on 3 rounds of antibiotics in the last few months. (You breastfeeding Moms probably know where I’m going with this.) The antibiotics get rid of the good stuff in your body that keeps the yeast in check causing an overabundance, and sometimes your pass that on to your baby via breastmilk. Thus follows the dreaded yeast rash. Can I just say I hate this rash? Its so stubborn, a layer of zinc ointment doesn’t cut it. Plus cloth diapering can make it harder to get rid of if you’re not washing them properly the whole time.  I thought I’d outline some tips and tricks to help clear it up fast.

Nystatin + Zinc Cream: Nystatin ( a topical anti-fungal) you can ask for at your pharmacy without a prescription (here in Canada anyways). You can also just grab whatever your go to cream for yeast you use on your lady bits off the shelf.  I rub a good layer of the Nystatin all over the red/spotty area and then layer the Zinc cream over that. It keeps the medicine on and the pee away from the rash. It seems especially important if they’re an older baby because solids seem to make their wee a lot more acidic/ammonia-y.

Don’t forget to use a liner with your cloth diapers if you are using NON-cloth friendly ass creams!

Baking Soda Bath: This can help with regular diaper rash or Yeast rash. Make sure not to use if the skin is broken which sometimes happens with yeast rash. Overall it makes the skin feel super smooth so if you keep a box in your bathroom for nothing else but your own baths you’re winning. Here’s a how to link: Baking Soda Baths For Diaper Rashes from Homeremediesforlife.com

Consider Going Disposable (at least at night): Just till it clears up! I seriously had a hard time with it too but the fact is, those cute cloth diapers need to be washed in hot hot water and vinegar (or your fav detergent) to kill the yeasties living in them every time you wash. Some people only wash in cold water, or only have a cold water option so its easier to use disposables till the rash is cleared up and only strip your diapers the once instead of after every wear while the rash is ongoing. Also, again because of the strong pee, if you’re not changing a diaper in the night anymore its not great to let them sit in a cloth all night. Disposables do have an absorbent gel that wicks away moisture better in my opinion.  

Another option is to use flushable liners until the rash clears up. Make sure the whole diaper is covered to protect it from contamination and never use the same one twice (obv…ew).

If you decide to keep on with the cloth, make sure you strip those diapers every time so you’re not reinfecting. Here’s a handy link from lilhelper.ca on yeast/cloth in general and also a bit on stripping the diapers to prevent reinfection: How Do I Wash Cloth Diapers After A Yeast/Thrush Infection?

I’m not an expert or anything but that’s what I’ve been doing for this latest round of yeast. I did my rounds on the internet to see what I could find to try for P’s poor red bottom so I thought I’d add mine to the pile. If you have any questions or suggestions or home remedies *I* should try leave me a comment!

Wishing you clear bums and happy babes!

Once Upon A Time In Momland

BAKERY

You wake up happy, vowing to have an amazing day and not lose your cool like yesterday. Throw in a few woodland creatures (WHY did we get THREE cats again?!) and tiny evil gnomes (Mommy loves you!) and you’ll go down in a puff of smoke labeled the “Evil Queen” once again. When did my life become a jacked up Mom version of a Disney Movie? I guess it has something to do with these:

You’re always late for the ball. You blame the kids but really it’s the fact that you keep underestimating the time it takes to get 2 kids dressed and then redressed after the big one spills yogurt on her shirt and the little one poops herself.

Your carriage barely runs better than a pumpkin and you can’t find anyone willing to transform a mini-van into a kid friendly Porsche.

You can shoot ice daggers from your eyes that rival anything Elsa can do with her hands. If you want to test that power kiddies, just sing “Let it Go” one. more. time.

Every bath-time leads to a epic meltdown because someone doesn’t want to get her hair brushed. She acts like it’s a deleted scene in Tangled where Rapunzel has to get her 25 miles of hair combed out with a porcupine.

Your kids will wake you up with a kiss. Or a kick to the groin, knee to the boob, punch to the chest cavity. Whatever gets the job done and gets you up and making their breakfast like the Princess you are!

You’re half convinced your offspring are being secretly raised by a Baboon judging by their climbing abilities and need to strip down to their underwear every chance they get. Might as well see if they have any child sized loincloths on Amazon.

Children have absolutely no filter. They’ll say super embarrassing things about people right in front of them with Giselle (Enchanted) like naivety and wonder.  “Look Mommy that man has long hair like a girl!” Yes dear, where’s that hole to another world you crawled out of I desperately want to jump in it.

Some days it seems like you live in Neverland because everyone is acting like a baby. Then they go to sleep and are finally quiet. Nobody is hitting anybody else and you stare at them and it’s Toy Story all the way cause “Look how big they are! They’re getting independent and soon they won’t need me anymore.” I guess you never really regret biting into that motherhood apple. Sure some days the poison hurts but in the end its Happily Most-of-the-Time After!

Throw Back Parenting (#TBP)

We’ve all heard that old school parenting advice from our grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and random old ladies at the grocery store that make us wonder how the human race has possibly survived. I had a talk with my mother today about how different things were back when she was a child. AKA: How things were a trillion times more dangerous and exhausting.  As one of 11 children born and raised in the Canadian country she has seen her share of parenting hits and misses. Get ready to clutch those pearls ladies, cause we’re about to visit the terrifying world of #TBP (Throw-back Parenting).

Baby Carriages of DOOM: Unlike the 27 point harnesses of today (okay that’s a bit of an exaggeration), the carriages of yore were basket shaped catastrophes on wheels. There were no straps, no harness of any kind to keep the child inside. Mother told me of a situation where some of her siblings had 2 carriages out and were horsing around with my uncle inside one. They crashed them together demolition derby style and Uncle falls out and breaks his arm.  The doctor might have been having an off day, seeing as how put my uncles cast on too tight…and that’s the story of how he almost lost the use of his hand. The harness isn’t looking so bad now.

What’s a Carseat?: Mom said she had never heard of a carseat until they had to bring me home in one. When she was a child they piled 6 or 7 children in the back of a car. If there was a wee one it would be held by someone else. Not having seatbelts for everyone wasn’t a problem since there were no seatbelts. They would have definitely qualified for the carpool lane had there been one.

DIY Baby Formula: My grandmother fed her babies the popular nutrition of her time. Canned milk. Yes, the kind the adults would use to make food or put in their coffee. While it worked for them, I’m not endorsing it. We’ve come a long way with nutritious formula and breastfeeding awareness thank goodness. I still can’t help but imagine, however,  the “#cannedisbest” and “#normalizecanfeeding” hashtags going viral on Instagram accompanied with pictures of smiling moms holding their cans (not to be confused with the euphemism).

The Clothes Wringer of Mutilation:  Being from the country, and a modest upbringing, my mother can still remember not having running water. However, everyone was cloth diapered. Let that sink in a bit. No running water, and 11 children and countless years of soiled diapers. And no running water.  I cloth diaper and the grossest thing about it is when you accidentally touch the poo trying to get them into the washer. Not only did they touch it, they washed all those bad boys by hand, and used a device that apparently rivaled the medieval “rack” to wring them out. My Aunt caught her arm in the “wringer” once and has a scar to this day. I’m feeling extra thankful for my God-knows-how-old top loader.

The Husband-Free Home Birth: In this day and age, a homebirth is a researched decision made with thought and planning.  It’s upsides usually include being in a safe environment surrounded by comforting things. You know, like your family. In my grandmothers day it was a given. 8 out of 11 of her children were born at home (including a set of twins) and my Gramps made sure to stay out of the way. There was no hand holding or birth coaching. Somebody had to work. The doctor was called and the kids were told he brought the baby in his black doctor’s bag.

So many things have changed and I think we can all agree, for the better. The main reason I think we have survived is a mothers love never changes and it finds a way to overcome most obstacles. This does not include seatbelts, as I’ve learned from this chat with Mom. So buckle up because no matter what the decade, motherhood is a fulfilling but bumpy ride.

5 Things I’ll Never Teach My Daughters

eandp

I have found myself thinking lately about the things I was taught as a girl. Things that shouldn’t have been true then, and certainly are not now. I have silently vowed to teach my 2 daughters a better way. To try and raise them in such a way that they don’t believe certain things are an obstacle to overcome but theirs for the taking. Here are the things I won’t teach my daughters.

“Boys only tease you because they like you.”: Sometimes boys (and girls) are just mean. I’m positive my own have/will have their issues at times. Even so, I will not teach my daughters to accept negative attention as a compliment. I will not teach them to give negative attention in an effort to cloak their affection for someone. Above all I will try to teach them kindness and how to stand up for themselves appropriately. Love freely and take no crap.

“Never leave the house without makeup.”: If this was a behavior I was supposed to model for my children I’ve already failed miserably. I hope someday bare faces are seen as just another thing to wear like a new dress or pair of shoes. I like wearing makeup at times but I don’t want to teach the girls that its a requirement for being “put together” or “socially acceptable”. I also don’t them to feel like their personal idea of beautiful is wrong. If that idea includes makeup or the natural look, that’s their choice.

“Pink is for girls and blue is for boys.”: I will support my child’s right to wear and love whatever color she wants.  I will not encourage gender specific play as it leads to expectations about what “roles” should be placed on male and females. Instead I will encourage her to be herself and follow her passion because I believe it goes hand and hand with happiness.

“Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”: Sex is not something to hold over someones head so you can get what you want. It shouldn’t be a bargaining chip in a relationship. You want to wait till marriage? Go for it! You don’t want to? Be safe! Be upfront with your partner right away so they know where you stand. Don’t forget to ask them what they’re comfortable with as well, it is never EVER a one sided decision.

“To keep their “skeletons” in the closet.”: When I was younger and something horrible happened to a girl it became a secret talked about in hush tones. Be it “getting into trouble with a boy” or being violated in some way it was “Don’t tell, its nobodies business. People will think you’re damaged. People will question the way you were raised.” I don’t know who these “people” are but I don’t need them in my life anyway. I want my daughters to have the freedom to heal the way they want and need to. To talk about their experiences in a positive way. To not shove every heartache and painful life story under the rug like it’s something to be covered up. They don’t have to talk about everything but I want them to know they can.

I hope by the time my girls are older it will be evident that times have changed enough that none of these things are big issues. Until then I will keep fighting for their right to have a voice and to choose what happiness and beauty means to them.

What life lessons are you updating for your children?

It Never Gets Old

We’re always hearing about things that get harder, worse, less enjoyable after we grow up. Throw kids into the mix and we sometimes forget that there is more to be desired in the world than sleep and a nice glass of whiskey. Instead of writing about how adulthood changed me, today I’m going to remind you of some things that never change. It doesn’t matter how old we get or how many kids are currently screaming “MOOOOOMMMM” these things never get tired. We may not react to them with childlike enthusiasm anymore (or maybe you do!) but they’ll make your heart feel good every time.

Having a Friend Over

Those rare friends that completely get your humor and you don’t have to make a big production about them visiting.

The Magical First Snowfall of the Season

The fact that you know it means “Winter is coming” and “I’ll be freezing my ass off soon” doesn’t matter, its always magical the first time.

First Kisses Always Make You Nervous

No matter how old you are, that first kiss with someone new always gives you that slightly sick feeling. (Butterflies is supposed to be a cute way to describe it but a gang of insects in my stomach is a bit disgusting if you ask me.) It’s also a great feeling, though. Sorta like when someone massages a sore muscle and it hurts but feels good at the same time.

Receiving a Present

They say its better to give than receive but the excitement of receiving is pretty fun too.

Giving a Gift

That feeling when you finally hand someone a present after having spent half a day trolling Etsy and Amazon looking for the perfect gift and waiting for it to arrive.

Getting a New or “Old New” Book
Its like the Scholastic Book Fair all over again.

Being Barefoot

There’s a reason toddlers are always pulling off their socks. Foot freedom!

There are probably tonnes more but I have to adult now. (Drink coffee and catch up on The Big Bang Theory) Tell me in the comments one thing you loved as a kid that never changed!

Is It In Yet? (A Hopeful Guide to This Seasons Trends)

I am not an authority on anything. I’m a mom but I’m learning that you can’t depend on what worked with the first to work with the second and so on. I wear clothes but I couldn’t tell you what’s “hot right now” on the runways. I’m a blogger but I do not profess to have a full grasp on how all that works nor do I claim to have perfected the written word.
With a grain of salt and an understanding of sarcasm please allow me to fill you in on what *I* feel needs to be”In” and “Out” this season.

Out: Super Brows.
You know what I mean. That whole trend of drawing your brows in with extra wide black permanent marker. I’m not talking shading and elongating. I’m talking wide-enough-to-drive-a-car-or-a-small-pickup-to-your-ears-on kinda brows.

ALTUZARRA-SPRING-2012
In: Mom Brows.
That “the kid had an ear infection and I had to cancel my waxing…last year” look needs to happen. STAT. You pluck enough stragglies in the sun visor mirror in the car on your way to work to not look like a Muppet and lick your finger and tame the rest down.

Out: Booty Shorts.
I believe in letting people wear whatever they want but for the love of comfort can these please go away?! I would just like to have the choice, at least, of buying normal shorts that I don’t have to pull out of my crotchal region or c section flap.
In: Sweat shorts.
I knowwww. How uncool. Those are for the gym or sleeping in. Well, so were track suits but we all had one with “Juicy” or “Sweet” or something equally degrading written across the ass (that never saw the inside of a gym) about a decade ago. So I say bring on the sweat shorts! It’s 2015 so we’re all evolved a bit more. We can put “Future PhD” and “Proud Mom” and inspirational messages on the ass now.

This is DOG velour tracksuit. If we can reach this level of insanity we can bring back sweat shorts.

Out: Grammar Police
I make grammatical errors. We all make typos. It can be annoying in some situations, sure. When you buy a book and find a spelling mistake it’s a wtf moment since there were probably countless edits and proofreads before it went to print. What I have a problem with is those people who feel the need to police every error, everywhere. When you are *they’re-*there-*their-ing on your friends text messages and Instagram captions you’re embarrassing them and you look like an asshole. Everyone hasn’t had the privilege of a great education. Everyone’s first language is not English. And frankly? Everyone doesn’t care as much as you about a comma in a post about what they had for dinner.

You know a person has nothing left in their arsenal when they start correcting your typo's in an argument.

You know a person has nothing left in their arsenal when they start correcting your typo’s during an online argument.

In: Happy Police.
When is the last time you got in touch with someone simply to see how they were? To ask if there was anything you could do for them? Kindness is SO underrated and totally hot this season. Drop cookies off at the firehouse. Carry out an elderly ladies groceries from the supermarket. Call your Mom. It is never, ever not worth it to spread some happiness.

Out:Trendy Food.
I love trying new foods and making new recipes. I think its great to incorporate more healthy options into our meals. These are the days of “all or nothing” though and people pick one food and run with it. Kale baked/fried/made into smoothies and applied directly to your trouble areas with a dollop of coconut oil and a side of qineoa is the name of the game. There’s so many recipes out there for the aforementioned items that one could exist solely for the rest of time living on nothing but. Don’t get me started on how vinegar is supposed to cure every ailment known to man, Goddess, and Mythical Dragon.

How I know we've gone too far. You can purchase this actual real life book here if you are so inclined. http://www.amazon.ca/Fifty-Shades-Kale-Satisfying-Recipes/dp/0062272888/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1428320986&sr=8-1&keywords=50+shades+of+kale

How I know we’ve gone too far. You can purchase this actual, real life, not a joke book 50 Shades of Kale.

In: Making Informed Choices.

Trust me, that article your Great Uncle shared on your wall saying you are killing your kids with baby carrots is wrong. Those posts floating around talking about negative foods are just more fuel for an already body image troubled nation. Its time to take Google back and search before you share! If something seems unlikely, snopes.com it!

There are so many things we’re all guilty of or are tired of. The list goes on and on. What’s your number one “In and Out” of the season?

Easter: Great Expectations & Their Crappy Realities

Almost every movie out there gives Canadian children unrealistic expectations about holidays. Take today for example. First day of Easter holidays for my husband and it snows, then rains, and the roof starts leaking.
If we want to do an Easter egg hunt it’s going to go down a lot differently than kids rolling around on green grass covered hills in light spring dress clothes like you see in the movies.  Its not just here in Canada. As “adults” we all imagine the perfect holiday’s we’re going to throw and how magical they will be based on all the ads and movies and tv we’ve seen over the years. There’s another side to this whole Holiday game though.

Let me show you what I mean with a little game of “Expectation vs Reality”.

Egg Hunt: Expectation

Shorts! Spring dresses! Green grass!

Egg Hunt: Reality

I can’t see anything! This isn’t worth it for off-brand chocolate and plastic grass my cat will inevitably eat and then half poop out.

Spring Fashions: Expectation

It’s time for dresses and cute jumpers! Now that it’s April we won’t have to ruin the look of it by putting a big bulky jacket over top……right?

Spring Fashions: Reality

Wrong! If my kids were to go out and play today they would literally have to wear a snowsuit. We still have that much snow.

Family Dinner: Expectation

Cheers bitches! I love you all and even though you said you hated me and I’m cut out of the will last night, our family bond will conquer all in the end.

Family Dinner: Reality

“I KNOW you took my Lisa Frank pens in 6th grade, you dingle berry! I told Mom and of course she did NOTHING. NO I won’t let it go because you steal everything shiny and good from my life!”

Church (if you’re so inclined): Expectation

God this movie, like Whoopi, never gets old does it?

Church: Reality

Don’t look at me like that. I’m not hungover! I’m just closing my eyes because I’m really into the sermon.

So that’s my Easter reality check for the day. After all is said and done its worth it to spend time with the family. Also, I’m not knocking the copious amount of chocolate bunnies and eggs I get to mutilate.  Hey that’s one less candy that’s going to rot my child’s teeth right?
Whatever the tradition in your family, make the best of it and have a great (or bearable at least) holiday!